Manpages

NAME

knife, axe, cutter, chainsaw − tools to improve network performance via SNIP

SYNOPSIS

knife is used to control the network via Sysadmin Network Interrupt Protocol [SNIP].

DESCRIPTION

Experience has shown that suitable application of these tools on the network can lead to improved network performance, as busy segments of useless traffic can be isolated from the important stuff (and the rest of the world, for that matter). However, care must be taken, otherwise lusers will be complaining about "network downtime".

knife vs LART
While knife can be used as a replacement for LART, the reverse is not generally true; while blunt trauma works wonders on lusers, it tends to be ineffective on cables. Also, note that using knife or one of it’s associates as a LART will probably lead to higher level assault charges than one would get with a standard LART.

chainsaw, the power SNIP tool
chainsaw is a version of knife that makes quick work of almost any problem. It also has a correspondingly higher potential for causing unintentional damage. Handle with care.

FILES

In its normal application to cables, knife uses no files. If applied to a disk, many files may be affected; see mkfs(8).

SEE ALSO

lart(8)

BUGS

You may be required to fix things eventually.

RESTRICTIONS

Bosses and the legal system may take a dim view of overenthusiastic application of these tools.

AUTHOR

While the origin of the first knife remains a mystery, this man page was written by Kurt Hockenbury <kurt [AT] something.com>. He disclaims responsibility for any actions inspired by this man page.

HISTORY

SNIP was first described on alt.sysadmin.recovery by J.D. Falk <jdfalk [AT] cais.com> as a followup to a post by <martin [AT] angela.se>.